Sexual minorities are living risky double life to conform to societal expectations, MERCY CHILONGO writes in Nation Newspaper.
Call him Watipaso because he is usually resented by the people around him. The 30-year-old has grown up being suspected of being gay.
But it is no longer a suspicion. Watipaso lives a pretended life to elude incessant disapproaval from his family, friends, neighbours and onlookers.
His double life cost him jobs at a bank and security firm.
Despite opening up about his sexual orientation 15 years ago, he tells his story in whispers afraid of being jailed.
“The rejection the gays face everywhere we go makes me totally resent life,” says the man who now works at a non-governmental organisation in the Northern Region.
Leading a double-faced life remains a major challenge for the country’s underground population of gays estimated at 40 000.
For three years, Watipaso has been dating a female nurse in Mzuzu.
However, he does not sound keen to marry her.
“I like my girlfriend because she makes me relate well with my family, but I am in love with my best friend, Gregory, who lives in Mangochi,” he explains.
Some family members familiar with her “top secret” help him conceal it.
However, he was forced to flee his parents’ home when they discovered some pro-gay magazines and lubricants.
“They agreed to make peace if I got a girlfriend and stopped dating the man,” he recalls.
His cousin says he does not approve of the double-dating, but accepts Watipaso’s dilemma because it is almost unchangeable.
“The two men regularly visit each other. When the fiancé is around, they go out in the name of partying or clubbing. Even if he marries her, he would still be his beloved companion,” says the cousin.